


Night into Morning

by birdlight



Series: The Starting Line [12]
Category: Captain America (Movies), MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Captain America Sam Wilson, Emotional, Emotional Healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M, One Shot, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Recovery, Sam Wilson Feels, Sam Wilson Has Issues, Sharing, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Wakanda (Marvel), natasha romanov - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22348669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birdlight/pseuds/birdlight
Summary: Sam is still grieving over Natasha's death but he finds hope and help in Wakanda where he and Bucky grow even closer. Will this finally break down Sam's resistance? They share a bed.Part Twelve of the Starting Line Series. A series of one shots exploring the relationship between Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Series: The Starting Line [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1491617
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	Night into Morning

“So do you remember this place?” Sam asked.

"I used to live here,” Bucky said as he walked beside Sam through the wooded area. “But I know what you mean. Yes, I do. Doesn’t look much different from when we were here before." 

“T’Challa me told they’re thinking of making a memorial garden here,” Sam said. He reached over and picked up a twig. He stared at it for a moment, the small leaves fluttering in the wind, then let go. It danced along with the breeze before settling beside a fallen tree. He followed it and took a seat on the log, and Bucky joined him. They sat there for a few minutes in the sunshine, Bucky reflecting over what took place here. The memory of those events still invaded his dreams from time to time, and he contemplated the irony that he had once again fallen asleep only to wake up again years later. 

“So why are we here?” Bucky asked. Their time in Wakanda had been enjoyable, and valuable. Sam was healing, returning to the man he used to be. He laughed more and those phased out moments no longer happened. Every few days he would disappear for a couple of hours and even though Bucky didn’t ask, he knew where he was. He was meeting the same people who had helped him come out of his own dark place all those years ago.

“This is where I last saw her, right here. This is where the memories are,” Sam said.” I had to come here,” he said. There was a slight catch in his voice. He didn’t cry, but his eyes reddened. 

Bucky reached over and placed his hand on his and they stayed in that position for a few minutes, neither one speaking for a long while.

"If T’Challa makes that garden, we can come here and plant a tree for her,” Bucky suggested, keeping his hand in place, and placing his other across his shoulders.

Sam turned to face him, giving him a soft smile. “That’s not a bad idea. You can be a decent human being when you want to be.”

"I'm more than just a pretty face,” Bucky said, reluctant to let go. “I love you.” He hadn't planned to be so dramatic, the words just slipped out without warning. The quiet, the breeze, the sunshine, being close to Sam freed his emotions, allowing him to give into the temptation to say the words out loud. 

Sam pulled himself away from Bucky's semi-embrace and stood up. He walked a few yards away, keeping his back toward him.

“Sam, I didn’t mean to say that, I meant…” Bucky said in a desperate attempt to backpedal but gave up. It wasn’t as if it was a secret.

“I know what you meant,” Sam said, turning around to face him. “We agreed…”

“ _WE_ didn’t agree on anything. _You_ made that decision…” Bucky didn’t mean to sound confrontational but he couldn’t seem to control his mouth.

“And you didn’t fight it,” Sam said. “Bucky, just don’t. Going there, might cause more problems....”

Bucky stood up. “So I’m supposed to just stop feeling what I’m feeling?” He didn't know how their quiet walk had escalated into this, but since it had started, he had to go with it.

Sam took a deep breath. “Let’s work on one thing at a time. Let me get through this…”

“So you’re not shutting the door on…”

“Bucky, all I’m saying is, not now,” Sam said. “I might look okay, but my head’s not completely screwed on straight yet. I'm better, but not there yet.”

Bucky immediately felt remorseful. There was a reason they were here in Wakanda, and it had nothing to do with their relationship difficulties. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have barged in with this. You need to think about...other things.”

“I do,” Sam said. He took the time to look around him, the sun breaking through the tree canopy, sending its rays dancing on the surrounding ground. “I have to tell you I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. Coming here, helping me. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be back home dropping things on myself,” he said. His eyes went beyond Bucky but this time, he stayed in the present. “We need to talk to T’Challa, before we go, about this tree planting idea of yours. I like it. It would give me a place...to come too.” He bit his lip as he looked over the area. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone here...for a while...I just…”

“No, it’s okay, I understand. I’ll meet you back at the room.” Bucky walked away, reluctant to leave Sam alone but his recovery was the most important thing and if he needed time alone, he would give it to him. He could wait.

  
  


Later that evening Bucky heard the front door open and close while he readied himself for bed in his room. The suite they gave them was beautiful and it was almost like living together, except for the separate bedrooms. They got up together, ate breakfast together on the balcony, used T’Challa’s loaned vibranium powered planes to visit every place worth visiting in this beautiful country, but best of all, Sam was healing, but despite all that, Bucky couldn't face the feelings of uncertainty inside him. He didn’t know why he said what he said, but at least it was out there. No more hiding.

A buzz on his phone interrupted his thoughts. He picked it up to find a plethora of messages from Wanda full of pictures and videos of the kittens. He lay back on the bed and scrolled through them, laughing at what he saw. A knock at the door startled him out of the moment. 

“Come in!” he called out. Sam entered, also readied for bed. An awkward moment passed between them and Bucky handed him the phone as a distraction. Sam sat down and scrolled through them, a small smile appeared on his face which gradually turned into laughter.

"Look at that! I told you Thomasina was the smart one!" He said. 

"And Gem is the pretty one. Wanda said she seems kind of shy," Bucky said.

"Just like you...pretty and shy," Sam said. Bucky couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

After a few minutes of this, Sam handed back the phone, and Bucky shut it off and laid it on the table. They faced each other, the heavy silence returning. Bucky realized that given their situation, the two of them being here together like this, things could happen, but Sam appeared to be oblivious to the setting.

“I’m sorry, about what I said today…” Bucky began.

“Don’t be,” Sam said. “I’ve known how you felt for a long time. It's not a bad thing. I just ...need time to get my head together. After all I’ve done, and what I’m trying to do here, it’s not a good idea to just throw myself into…”

"A relationship so soon,” Bucky finished for him. “It’s the same thing they told me. But I’m here...for you,” he said."I always will be." _Damn that sounded sappy._ He waited for a snarky comeback.

“Move over,” Sam said. Bucky felt his heart quicken. He wasn’t sure he had heard him correctly. _Move over?_

“But I thought you said….”

“I said it, and I mean it. This isn’t an invitation for anything...I just don’t want to be...alone. There're things I need to say, but I can't say them to anyone else, but you.”

“It’s okay,” Bucky said, moving over to make room. “I understand. And I won’t judge.”

“I know you won’t,” Sam said, easing himself down on top of the covers.. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling. “It’s not like we haven’t slept together before,” he said.

Bucky chuckled to himself as he thought of all those late night stake outs and post mission naps on planes. He adjusted his position, so he was lying on his side and propped his head up with his good arm and hand to look at Sam, resisting the urge to reach over and touch him, even if his intention was just to comfort. 

“I met Natasha the same day I met Steve,” Sam said. “Except I didn’t really met her. I saw her through the window of her car, she’d pulled over to pick him up...we’d just been running around the National Mall in DC, or I should say I was running. Steve was...I don’t know what the hell he was doing. That thing you both do when you run. Time traveling…he’d be there, and then he’d be gone, and then he’d be there again.”

Steve told him about this years ago, but hearing it again from Sam’s point of view was like listening to it for the first time. Bucky said little as Sam talked on, recounting every mission with Natasha, every time they had been together, the hurt they had felt when she sided with Tony about the Accords, their reunion and the time they spent together on the run. Everything until that final flight to Walkanda and the moment after he woke up to find her gone. Bucky laughed when it was funny and reached out and gently touched his arm when it was tragic. Sam didn’t push him away. 

The night passed and they fell asleep. Bucky woke up to find his head on Sam’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around his waist. He wasn’t sure how to get out of it without waking Sam so he stayed still, and then he heard Sam stir. He kept his eyes shut and felt his arm being moved and Sam slowing sliding off the bed. He remained in that position until he heard him leave the room, only then did he sit up and stare at the back of the closed door.


End file.
